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Elated, Frustrated, Reflected

Earlier today I was elated. Later I was frustrated. Now I've reflected and feel better about my decision to put an offer on Buchanan. 

Went to the open home for Buchanan. 

Loved it. Looked around three or four times. We were the only potential buyers there. We took a video of the property so we could have another proper look later. And to send to nan. 

I called John and checked in with him. He sounded positive. 

Immediately upon entering it was like being welcomed home. 

It was a different kind of feeling but similar - like welcome back - a little triggering -- at 13 Ford as it reminded us of the house we grew up in. 

Like Crystel said - Buchanan was already a home. Ford you'd have to make it a home. 

Buchanan
Pros: 
* Two bathrooms
* Tidy property
* New house (code of compliance issued in 2020)
* Only lived in for 7 months
* Soooooo many delicious features
- the soft close kitchen drawers
- the bright lighting into each room
- butler's pantry
- all bedrooms have big wardrobes
- security features
- pizza oven
- connection for spa in future
- outdoor plugs
- covered outdoor area
* LIM and Builder's Report is recent - won't need to pay these initial costs
* Bank will be happy with this house as it's brand spanking new
* I like it
* Crystel likes it
* Riley was talking up a storm when we were there
* Valuation was very recently done - so we know it would come in at $640k. 
* Crystel liked the washing line and laundry area
* Two car garage plus space in driveway for campervan and at least two other cars
* Gardens and trees have been planted
* Kitchen island and bench space
* Desk space in kitchen
* Blank canvas to decorate how we want
* Open plan kitchen and lounge area
* Nice flow from inside to outside

Cons: 
* Small section
* Land on sale around it
* Likely to be hearing building sounds for ages
* Dealing with having to take dogs for a run every day rather than just letting them go outside...
* $640k
* Dogs might not like it
* May still have to pay for a registered valuation
* Need two boarder letters


Ford
Pros:
* Big section
* Recently renovated
* Nice big deck
* Can see the harbour development
* Nice ish area of Opo
* fenced front section
* Boundary fence to be added
* $499

Cons: 
* Needs back fence
* Surrounded by neighbours
* No ramp for pram
* One bathroom
* Triggering for us - every single day. 

Ford felt like a house we could make into a great home for us and Riley. I know I could make the backyard into a cool space for Riley to grow up into. But at the moment it's a blank canvas. 


The frustrating part of today was when I talked with my friend Steven who seemed to think I hadn't thought it through. This was frustrating as I have a good team behind me. 



I'm really proud of how far I've come. 

Like I said to Bonny today - I never even bothered to look at Buchanan last year when it was up for sale. I nearly discarded it as an option this time too because I had that feeling in my stomach/head that I was not worthy of such a nice house. That I kept looking for houses that I thought I was worth. 

But I am worth more. I deserve more. 

I am worth more than what I think. 

I need to think higher of myself. 

I deserve to live in a fancy house, as Crystel just said, because all your life you've lived in shitty ones. 😂♥️🤦‍♀️😭

Love my sister and her honesty. 

But I am nervous for her if it falls through and she is heartbroken like I was last year. 

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