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Interest Rates and Adjusting Mindsets (AGAIN πŸ˜‚πŸ€¦‍♀️)

My mortgage broker/financial advisor John talked with me today about interest rates. 

SBS had contacted him to ask whether I wanted to go with the 12 month 2.99% interest rate and that although it hasn't gone unconditional yet - they thought they'd check before the interest rates go up tomorrow. 

It all sounds really real. Like... It's happening. That totally stresses me out πŸ˜‚

I was thinking the other day about pulling out of the whole thing because I'm scared. 

Mostly scared, actually. 

Nervous that if Crystel goes or the new boarder (whoever that may be) - then I won't be able to afford it. 

That it totally freaks me out that I could end up in huge asf debt and then not be able to make repayments on my own and be even more fucked. 

And that the dogs won't be able to just run around. 

That they'll be even more hōhā than they are now coz they'll poo all over the stones and make a general mess. 

Ugh and it's expensive right? But it's getting more and more expensive. And doesn't seem like it's going to slow down anytime soon. 

Sure I could have waited some more. Saved some more. 

But I was ready. I am ready. 

I'm just nervous asf. 

I'm also trying to work through those thoughts in my head that I'm not worth a nice house. 

That I'm scared because what if I don't feel comfortable. 

And even more scared - what if I am comfortable?

A student told me "You're rich!" the other day when I showed him the house I am wanting to buy. 

I laughed and said no. But actually - I would have said the same thing when I was 14 years old. 

And I guess that's the thing. How much of a change I've made to get to where I am now. 

That recognition of where I am and also a reminder that I shouldn't give up just as I'm close to achieving what I've been wanting for a very long time. 

All that is standing between me and the mortgage being accepted right now is anotber boarder letter. 

So so freaking nervous. 

I did not ever want to have flatmates. 

But I also didn't want to be alone πŸ˜‚

So - hopefully someone soon will appear and be the right person to move in. 

Hopefully I have the courage to connect with new people and share my home. 

Hopefully I can stop being so scared and instead be appreciative of the years and years I've spent struggling to get to this point. 

I can't give up now when I'm so freaking close. 

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