Skip to main content

The other side: guilt and humility

People keep asking how my new whare is ♥️ I keep being quiet and not saying much - other than it's awesome or that I love it or that it's warm. 

And that's all true. 

I guess what I'm working through is that guilt of leaving my past behind and the need I feel to be humble asf with this. I know there are still so many people on this journey and still working towards being ready to start the journey. There are so many people struggling with homelessness and rough sleeping - that I just don't think it's fair to talk up about my new whare.  

I'm nervous to share the good things as I'm so used to sharing the bad things. It's hard to know how to share the good things without sounding like I'm showing off. 

After all that hard work and getting here, I don't want to be the kind of person who talks it up or shows off - I'd rather help other people through that journey too. I want to be someone who helps lead change and encourages change and positivity. 

I don't want to close the door behind me or lock it so others continue to struggle to break the cycle without any help or support. 

It's a hard bloody journey and even though I'm on the other side of it - I'm encountering more things I hadn't ever considered to be an issue. 

Just wanted to say - if you want to talk or get some advice or even be pointed in the direction of some awesome experts - let me know ♥️

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Part 7 - Note To Self

Be onto it.  Know where your money is coming ANG going.  Know your debts.  Pay them. Whatever method you can.  If you're not sure - contact the credit rating companies.  They'll straight up just tell you.  Then you can avoid finding an overdue $9 payment from TWO YEARS AGO that is now putting a red underlined mark under my name and a big ole NOPE on the risk-o-meter for the banks. Ugh.  I worked so hard to get here and am being screwed over by a few things:  * A lack of communication from the company. They should have called me about the outstanding payment. They say they sent two emails back in 2019. I cannot find them. I had no recollection that I had an overdue payment. Had I known... I would have paid the $9!  * The company seem to be refusing to remove this mark from my name on the credit score. This is beyond frustrating.  * The banks see me as a risk because of a missed payment from 2019. Of $9.  * My credit score is currentl...
Post a Comment
Read more

Continuing to break the poverty mindset

Whuuuu.  I'm still processing the latest thought patterns.  We're going to an Open Home on Sunday. 52 Buchanan. Beautiful big house. Flashy, as Crystel puts it.  She wants to live in a flashy house.  I get it.  We've both been through some crazy trauma and deserve good things.  But inside me is also this niggling thought that makes me think I don't deserve to. That thought is holding me back.  I find it hard to see myself in a fancy, flashy, new house.  I prefer to see myself in a villa.  Part of that could be conditioning while growing up. Maybe it's to do with my preconceived notions and ideas about wealth.  Maybe I still have more work to do.  At present - my list of house options:  52 Buchanan Street Ōpōtiki * 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms * newer house * Not much section * Pizza oven * Big garage * Big white gates * Open plan living and kitchen 32 Potts Ave * 2 bedrooms, 2 toilets, 1 shower over bath * Co...
Post a Comment
Read more